I became a grateful heart transplant recipient on January 18, 2001.
As a holistic health practitioner, vegetarian, health nut, energy healer, and therapist, I was adamant about not taking drugs. I had hardly ever taken an aspirin in my life. I was incredibly grateful to receive a heart (or I would have been dead), but now that I had a chance to live, the hard part was that I was dependent upon a long list of heavy-duty drugs.
It was shocking for me (aka Ms. Holistic) to, twice a day, swallow a litany of drugs to keep my heart from rejecting. Every time I put a pill in my mouth, I was convinced I was poisoning myself. I was completely and paradoxically twisted for having to accept this new requirement for survival. Twice a day, without fail, I had to ingest poison pills to save myself.
For two years post-transplant surgery, this regimen held me in a state of perpetual anxiousness and urgency. I had to find a way out of my, “rest of life sentence” of heavy-duty immune suppressant drugs. And along with the primary heavy hitter drugs was a secondary list of pharmaceuticals to mitigate the side effects of the first list.
I spent the first two years of my transplanted life avidly (secretly), researching alternative ways to get off my immune suppressant medication without risking my life. I called every expert on every part of the globe I could find. I was determined to be the one who would do it differently because I was certain that if my body didn’t reject this heart, these drugs would slowly but surely destroy me.
I sought ought every heart expert I could find that was remotely open to holistic medicine and yet deeply schooled in the western world of organ transplantation and immune suppressive medication. Hard, no, impossible to find. I turned over lots of rocks, all to no avail.
Finally, with the Grace of a spiritual epiphany, I surrendered. I stopped looking at these drugs and their side effects as the evil that would destroy me and I saw them through a different lens. Their chemistry hadn’t changed, but my perspective and belief about them did.
Now when I hold these drugs in my hand, twice a day, without fail, I am overcome with gratitude. I look at them. I give thanks. I don’t resist their chemistry. I realize these little pills are giving me life. Not only do they prevent me from dying, but my body has come to understand and accept their chemistry. The drugs have adapted into my energy system. I have no ill side effects. I am living a normal, active, healthy life.
I feel grateful and blessed to have these drugs available to me, they give me life to support this transplanted heart.
The placebo effect is extremely powerful. My entire system relaxed when I surrendered to the concept, and then the grateful decision, that western pharmaceutical medicine was saving my life.
I have family members, clients, and friends who are adamant anti-vaxxers and clients, family, and friends who are staunch vaxxers. I have clients and friends who are doctors and nurses who are working the front lines, risking their lives every day, and clients who are super clear that the vaccine would put their health or their life at irreversible risk.
We must all make our own choices. Choice is comprised of many complex factors, including our history, our traumas, our personal life issues, our values, science, information, and misinformation.
Whatever you extract from what is available to you, each of us must choose. Whatever you choose, I encourage you to fully “choose your choice." It will help your body, your mind, and your spirit. You have the capability to change your mind if circumstances require it of you. You can talk to your body. It will listen to you. It will adapt. Your body is part of your consciousness and responsive to your biochemistry and it will respond. The power of healing and love is omnipresent, even in vitamins and vaccines.